Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize