I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize