Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
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I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
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it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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