so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize