Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
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Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
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Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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