I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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