im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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