..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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