I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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