Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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