i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize