wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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