just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize