I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize