Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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