you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize