WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
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Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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