I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize