i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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