no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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