two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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