before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
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Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
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It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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