I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He felt like a one man threesome
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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