Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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