Umm I'm too high to move.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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