Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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