I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize