I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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