This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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