I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
PANTIES FOUND
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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