All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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