I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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