i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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