don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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