he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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