Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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