I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize