I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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