3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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