Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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