I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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