Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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