You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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