tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize