Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So vagazzling was a success
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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