you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
PANTIES FOUND
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