So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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