I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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