Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
my poor anus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize