my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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